Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
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