..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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