I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
