New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
