Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
