I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
