YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
