gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
