she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
