i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
