ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
