maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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