i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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