I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
