Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
