in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
