Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
