She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
