I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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