just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
