So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
