While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
