I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
