i think my mom watched the whole time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I believe in your delicious
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
