There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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