Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
