You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we're making bets on your personal life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
