there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
