I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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