just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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