It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
