wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
