You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
