ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
don't judge my taste in strippers
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
