He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
