It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my poor anus
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
