I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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