Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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