what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Your cock deserves a montage
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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