He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
