Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
