NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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