im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
