Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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