Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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