Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
