her vagine was all disorganized.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
