If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You have to summon your inner elephant
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
