Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
