I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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