so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
soo... how was my night?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
