Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
